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The mobile as a disruptive element in a partnership

Mobile phones are common topics in counseling, particularly with issues relating to jealousy, attention or spending time together as a couple.

Josef Aigner explains that some people try to compensate for a feeling of security by controlling their partner’s mobile phone. But a device cannot provide security. If you don't feel secure in the relationship, there’s something that needs to be worked on according to Aigner.

It’s important to talk about these topics with your partner and not simply accept the situation without a word. If there are justified reasons for mistrust, the partner should be addressed. “Can you please explain it to me, I don’t get it?” could be a non-accusatory question you can use. It is also common to see that couples in restaurants are not communicating with one another and not paying one another any attention. One of the two is looking at their phone and doesn’t notice that the other is already really bored.

You should always express wishes or desires clearly in a relationship. Unfortunately, this does not necessarily mean that what you see will be understood and will resonate. Simply make contact, communicate in a respectful manner and ideally without making accusations and accept that the process itself can often be a solution.

If issues about mobile phones play a major role in your relationship, you can talk to a trained expert about it. Arrange a free appointment in one of the Austrian family counseling centers. Use the search function on our website to find an appropriate center near you.

Our interview partner

Josef Aigner is a trained social worker and counsels individuals, couples and families with the Caritas of the Diocese of St. Pölten, Lower Austria. 

Caritas Familienberatung & Psychotherapie, Caritas der Diözese St. Pölten
3100 St.Pölten
Website Caritas St. Pölten

The interview was conducted in March 2022.

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